I was sitting in the carpool line at Charlotte's school today and I begin noticing all the special car tags. Most of them were the wildflower tag, the spay/neuter tag and a few alma mater ones. This got me thinking about what other sort of tag options were out there. So I did a little research. Currently there are 100 special tags being offered by the Georgia Deaprtment of Motor Vehicles. Sure, you've seen the popular ones but did you know you could plunk down your $40-$200 and get a tag to support say...Chosin Resevoir Campaign of 1950 in North Korea? No? How about the Bobwhite Quail Restoration Project?
This got me to thinking about these plates and wondering about what the tags would look like for say the Enron Defense Fund, the People For Ethical Treatment of Dead Beat Dads, The Lobby For More Erectile Dysfunction Commercials Being Shown During Prime Time. The last one? That mental image will haunt you for days.
So what are the causes that I would be willing to support?
The Movement to Remove Sugary Drinks, Caffeine and Junk Food from Georiga Public Schools So That Our Children Can Damn Well Concentrate Instead of Sugar Crashing Halfway Through the Day and We Can Climb Over Lousisana and Mississippi As The Worst Freakin' Public School System in America
Citizens Sick of the Phrase "George Clooney, the Sexiest Man Alive"
The Coalition To Review, Laugh At (and Possibly Snack On Pop-Tarts While Doing It) Scientology, Tom Cruise and Isaac Hayes For Trying To Screw With People Way, Way More Clever and Witty Than They Shall Ever Be and The Results of Said Screwing
The Study for It's Totally Your Right To Have Ten Kids But Do Not Ask Me To Pay For Them Through Welfare, Free Lunches Or PeachCare
The Institute of Stop Putting Damn Twenty Year Olds On Wrinkle Cream Ads
The Brigade To Strap Politicians To Chairs, Have Bill Mahr and Nancy Grace Administer Thorough Lie Detector Tests and Publish The Results In A Large Print, Well Indexed Paperback Format
The Alumni Of Damn You LyingTeachers Who Threatened Us With The Shadow Of Our Pemanent Record Following Us Through Life and Telling Us PE Grades Would Be Considered By College Admissions
The Center For What The Hell Happened To The United States Going Entirely Metric By The Year 1995? So Why The Hell Did I Have To Waste My Time Converting Cups To Freakin' Milliliters?
Represenatives of The Assload of Folks Who Do Not Think Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan or Any of The Other Teenage Starlets Have Any Talent, Will Not Be Impacting The Future Beyond Their Respectively Shitty CDs Clogging Up The $1 Bins At KMart and Prefer To Not Hear About Their Assorted Dysfunctions/Disorders/Dating or Fashion Debacles
The Quorom Of All Free Thinking People Wanting To Know Where Paris Hilton's Parents Get Off Having A Television Show Entitled "I Want To Be A Hilton" When They Can't Even Teach Their Daughters To Wear Underwear
The Movement To Assure The World That The Spears-Federline Love Story Shall Never Be Turned Into A Made For Telelvision Mini-Series On Lifetime Movie Channel or Any Other Netowrk But If It Is..That Trey Parker and Matt Stone Get To Do It
The Lobby To Compel The Nominating Committee of The Emmy Awards This Year To Pull It's Head Out Of It's Butt and Nominate Battlestar Even Though It's On The Scif-Fi Network, To Make Sure That Terry O'Quinn Takes Home The Lady Instead Of Adding To William Shatner's Impressive and Well Earned Collection Again and That They All Loose Sleep Over Ignoring Lauren Graham for ALl These Years
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