Who's Really Paying?

Let's take a moment and talk about the Strike.


First, understand that I consider myself to be a "revisionist' when it comes to politics or just matters in general like this. If you tried it and it's not working? Man up, head back to the drawing board and start over. I mean really, if it's a disaster (like healthcare in America) or you need to lop off a dead limb (like the Electorial College) than just do it, no one will miss it and we'll all be better off for it. So I'm all for a good strike when arbitration breaks down and the strikers need better conditions.

Secondly I'm a pretty liberal person. I don't believe in censorship by governments or groups, it's none of your business what I read, watch or do as long as no one is hurt.

Having said this....I'm not a huge lover of the modern strike. I know it seems like a person like me would be rushing down to the picket lines with Krisy Kremes in hand but ...not so much usually. Why?

Let's be honest, this isn't turn of the century Industrial Age America. I know there are still plenty of illegal sweat shops out there and other extremely ugly working conditions that should be shut down and fined and the owners sent to jail. Or let's turn our attention to neglectful foster parents. Or shine the spotlight on the incredibly under funded homeless shelters which offer NO housing at all for single fathers with children. Or let's spend our time trying to figure out how to help the 'throw away' kids that are runaways between the ages of nineteen and twenty-one that are still in the 'foster care' system but are living on the streets because they no longer have a home to go to. You know as runaways these kids have no birth certificates or drivers license and therefore can't get jobs, right?

So we're not talking about six year olds breathing coal dust and working twenty hours a day. The modern day strike is all about money. And generally by people who are making a lot of moeny but somehow feel they need more money. If you make $400,000 a year and are on strike for more? Shut up. Let's check out a few strikes that occurred around me.

2006 Delta Pilots Strike
This more then any other represented the very height of stupidity.

Delta spokesman Bruce Hicks said that the average pilot pay at the airline was $157,000 last year. That's after the one-third pay cut they agreed to in 2004, but is not affected by the additional pay cut agreed to in December. The number is inflated by the fact that staff cuts have left Delta with no pilots with less than five years seniority. But some senior pilots at Delta made more than $300,000 in 2005, according to Hicks

The pilots union, which represents about 6,000 active and 500 furloughed pilots at the bankrupt airline, agreed to about a one-third cut in their pay in October 2004, but 11 months later rising fuel prices and continued weakness in fares led the airline to file for bankruptcy court protection, the same day that competitor Northwest Airlines also filed.

Here's the thing. When your business is in bankruptcy, you don't ask for a raise. Now I realize that the pilots got their panties in a wad when they had to take the pay cut in the first round in 2004. I understand that sucks but Delta pilots are the HIGEST paid in the industry. And does anyone REALLY notice any significant difference in flying Delta and say, Air-Tran? Thought not. Actually every time I fly Delta I get attitude from everyone from the curbside baggage guys who actually DEMAND tips before you can open your wallet, to the flight attendants who act like they're trying to detox off of heroine they are so rude and am treated to a display of organizational skills that would make a chicken roll its eyes. How does striking and therefore putting the very business you are striking against out of business make sense? If someone goes on strike and there are no jobs to go back to, did anyone really go one strike or did they just elect to downsize themselves?

I grew up with a number of children of Delta pilots. If you can afford to give your four kids sports cars, send them to private school and buy them a Rolex for high school graduation? Shut up.

So who would have gotten burned? How about the ticketing agents, the gate agents, the baggage handlers, the ground crew, the food service companies, the people who teach and work at the training facility? Yeah.


1994 Baseball Strike (my husband will most likely divorce me over this one)

Now in 1994 players were not necessarily making the ridiculous overinflated salaries they are now for throwing balls around that many do these days. I know some of the young players had to take career sidetracking jobs to support their families. Some worked in auto body shops, some painted house…whatever skill they had before baseball they put to use. But again, the big boys were fine. In 1994, the average MLB salary was an estimated $1.2 million. This was for a player who was good and in long standing. This was not the farm team guy.

The 232-day strike, which lasted from August 12, 1994, to April 2, 1995, led to the cancellation of 938 games overall, including the entire 1994 postseason and World Series.

Owners demanded a salary cap in response to the worsening financial situation in baseball (i.e. keep expenditure down). Ownership claimed that small-market clubs would fall by the wayside unless teams agreed to share local broadcasting revenues (to increase equity amongst the teams) and enact a salary cap, a proposal that the players adamantly opposed. On January 18, 1994, the owners approved a new revenue-sharing plan keyed to a salary cap, which required the players’ approval. The following day, the owners amended the Major League agreement by giving complete power to the commissioner on labor negotiations.
The dispute was played out with a backdrop of years of hostility and mistrust between the two sides. What arguably stood in the way of a compromise settlement was the absence of an official commissioner ever since the owners forced Fay Vincent to resign in September 1992. Vincent described the situation this way: "The Union basically doesn’t trust the Ownership because collusion was a $280 million theft by Bud Selig and Jerry Reinsdorf of that money from the players. I mean, they rigged the signing of free agents. They got caught. They paid $280 million to the players. And I think that’s polluted labor relations in baseball ever since it happened. I think it’s the reason Fehr has no trust in Selig." [1] Incidentally, on February 11, 1994, the owners greatly reduced the commissioner's power to act in "the best interests of baseball."
Owner representative Richard Ravitch officially unveiled the ownership proposal on June 14, 1994. The proposal would guarantee a record $1 billion in salary and benefits. But the ownership proposal also would have forced clubs to fit their payrolls into a more evenly based structure. Salary arbitration would have been eliminated, free agency would begin after four years rather than six, and owners would have retained the right to keep a four or five year player by matching his best offer. Owners claimed that their proposal would raise average salaries from $1.2 million in 1994 to $2.6 million by 2001.
Major League Baseball Players Association leader Donald Fehr rejected the offer from the owners on July 18. Fehr believed that a salary cap was simply a way for owners to clean up their own disparity problems with no benefit to the players. Many observers believed the strike put Fehr in over his head.
On July 13, 1993, Fehr said that if serious negotiations between the players and the owners did not begin soon, the players could have gone out on strike in September of that year, threatening the postseason. On December 31, 1993, Major League Baseball's collective bargaining agreement ran out with no new agreement yet signed.


Okay, you got all that? I cut it directly from Wiki so there's a good chance it's at least 80% accurate.

So a fabulous agreement was reached and….

On Opening Day in 1995, three men, who were each wearing T-shirts emblazoned with the word "Greed", leaped onto the field at Shea Stadium and tossed more than $150 in $1 bills at players. In Cincinnati, one fan paid for a plane to fly over Riverfront Stadium that dragged a sign reading "Players and Owners — To Hell With You" The meager crowds at the openers often booed at the players for their rusty fundamentals, shoddy defense, and in response to frequent high-scoring contests. Fans in Pittsburgh disrupted Opening Day by throwing sticks on the field, and holding up the action for 17 minutes. Despite just 6,300 fans at the New York Yankees' pre-opening workout, 50,245 showed up for the opener, the smallest opening crowd at Yankee Stadium since 1990.

So who suffered? Hmmmmm, the stadium workers? The people who owned the parking lots? The guys who sold MLB merchandise? Uniform providers? All the charities that had thrown their resources into fundraising by having a baseball player show up so they could charge $100 a person to eat with whomever?

Nice. Glad that worked out for you and you didn't have to compensate any of those people.

So again, here we are with a strike. The Writers Guild. And what are they striking for?

The guild said the networks are refusing to grant the unions jurisdiction over writing directly for new media and the right to offer promotional showings of movies and television shows in places like their websites without paying an additional fee. DVD residuals and download residuals are also on the table. Essentially, what's going on with payment when it's the media of the future we're talking about?

Okay, I can get behind the complaint. You wrote it. The stars wouldn't be stars without you. You want a bigger piece of the pie. Fine. But first, let's stop wearing damn Hermes scarves and our Gucci boots out there on the picket line. You shame yourselves.

The thing is Jay Leno can afford to take the time off. The production assistant guy who got fired yesterday at NBC since they shut down The Office stage does not. Damon Lindelof can pick up his little sign and trot all over the place because he's raking in huge bucks, even if Lost goes into reruns after the eight episodes they have in the can. The drivers who tote out all the lighting equipment? Not so much.

Does anyone on the picket line remember being a struggling writer? Remember sitting in their crap apartment overlooking the freeway and writing their little fingers to the bone on their PC between the two jobs they were working? Apparently not. I'm not saying they don't deserve what they're asking for. I'm saying that my compassion wanes when the less glamorous people start getting hurt.

The Foley guy doesn't want more money; he just wants to continue to put his kids through college. The craft services girl doesn't want more money; she's thrilled to be on the lot and just wants to be able to pay her car payment. The wardrobe people just want to do their gig and continue to help pay for Mom's nursing home stay. What about those people? The not Jay Lenos? The not Tina Feys? The ironic thing being that even if Numbers starts rerunning, the writers still get their residuals so they have steady income regardless of how long this drags out. The honey wagon driver? Mostly he just wants to have health insurance so his child on dialysis can get his treatments.

And then we have Ellen who is getting the shit kicked out of her for continuing to work. I have to agree with her original statement. People have come to see her show. People have had tickets for months. People have come from Idaho and Kentucky and Florida to sit in her audience. So is it fair to take this out on them? All they did was come and see the people they like. Why should some little old lady be told that she won't be able to see the taping of her favorite show, Family Feud?

Oh, and this sort of comment? Isn't helping. Although admittedly it was by one of the 'writers' of The View, arguably the most denigrating show on television that has set women back at least a hundred years.

Writers going on strike sounds like shepherds staging a walkout,” Mr. Smith said afterward. “The general public has no understanding of the issues that we are facing, but we are here because the producers will take as much as they can unless writers stand up for themselves.”

Yes, the general public are entirely too stupid to understand. Unfortunately many of us are actually too stupid to stop watching your hack show.

Strike? Sure, I'll grab a sign, toss on my Danskos and join you. Heaven knows I did my fair share of marching protests back in college. But I'm not going to help anyone who is jeopardizing the livelihood of others because they aren't getting DVD residuals. Enjoy your reruns people and make out your Netflix list. Because if we have idiots like this guy involved then we are in for a LONG wait for fresh material. And yeah, I just wrote that so you can picket me.

Actually, I'll be happy to write some new episodes of LOST. I can hardly do worst then some of last season. Call me...

Damn You To Hell Tootsie Rolls!!!

Four months vegan.

Four months no processed sugar.

Twenty-four pounds lost.

Then...Halloween.

I found myself standing over the damn candy bowl at three o'clock today picking out all of the cherry Tootsie Rolls. After that I moved on to the lime ones. I was like the Miner Forty-Niner on Scooby-Doo...mineminemine!

I think at one point I started actually talking to the candy trying to get it to cough up one more pack of Sprees. I whispered sweet promises that I never intended to fufill if only one more sour apple Tootsie Pop should appear. I caressed it's black plastic purple cats begging for just a few more of those raspberry toffee thingys.

By four o'clock I thought I was about to launch myself into a full blown diabetic self-induced coma. I actually HURT. I went upstairs and laid down with the worst sugar migraine known to man. Why the hell didn't I give out raisins? Overload on raisins and what's the worst that can happen? You walk around the rest of the night trying to get at that little gob stuck to your back molar with your tongue pretty much looking like a tool all evening.

You know, I vote we return this to a pagan holiday, dance naked around a fire, drink a little grog, beat on a drum. Pagans didn't do Tootsie Rolls.

I have to go take six Tylenol now.

Treat, no trick

Here's a tidbit of Halloween fun. You get an hour demo so if you start now you can waste your last hour of work. Happy Halloween!


Mortimer Beckett and the Secret of The Spooky Manor

http://www.funpcgame.com/puzzle-games/Mortimer-beckett-and-the-secret-of-spooky-manor/Mortimer-beckett-and-the-secret-of-spooky-manor-game.php

It's Funny Because Stupid Is Illegal This Time

From the wonderful files of The Smoking Gun comes this little gem. It's ten pages long but WELL worth the read if you have time to pop over to the website and read the entire thing. I've trimmed down the legal docs for you to the ones that are absolutely mind blowing. Here we have a company that thought that it could victimize a young girl, lie about it and no one would know the difference. Lara is to applauded for standing up for herself and hiring a smart attorney. The back of the video box is graphic and you do not want your children seeing it. I put in on here simply to illustrate what her image (at age fourteen) was being used to sell. The NovelChick Staff are not looking to become an HBO 'documentary' subject and we are not moving in the direction of becoming a porn site.

Teen Sues Over XXX-Video "Debut"

British student claims self-portrait hijacked by porn distributors

JULY 31--A British teenager whose self-portrait somehow ended up on the cover of a hardcore video has filed a lawsuit against the film's distributors, claiming that they have left the impression that she is involved in the porno industry. In a copyright lawsuit filed today in U.S. District Court in Tampa, Florida, Lara Jade Coton, 18, charges that her photo--which was taken when she was just 14--has appeared on the cover of "Body Magic," a 1982 film that was recently reissued. The image of Coton, now a college student, shows her wearing a shoulder-baring dress and a top hat. The photo, which Coton titled "No Way Out," was lifted from her web site by the artist who designed the DVD cover of "Body Magic," which is described on its cover as having received Hustler magazine's "highest rating." The movie's main character is a young fashion photographer named Laura.

The DVD's front and back covers can be found below, while Coton's self-portrait can be seen above. In her lawsuit, Coton recounts contacting one of the film's distributors earlier this year after discovering her image on the porno box. Her request for compensation was brusquely rejected by one of the film's distributors, who wrote, "Nice try toots. We are still going to remove you from the art, not because of your claim but let's face it your picture means very little to the film."

Start reading at the arrow.

Read 24. Can you imagine having some random guy come up to you in college and say, oh aren't you the chick on that hardcore box?

And in paragraph 28 we see that stupid is, in fact, illegal and costly.
I especially enjoyed her attorney's summation of that email.

And in 29 we see that the photo supposedly on a public domain bore a watermark.

I'm guessing that they never suspected this email would be used as court evidence since they used house whole instead of household. That and the generally assy comments which apparently say it's her FAULT the DVD bombed.

Check the date in 31 when she ws allegedly removed from all DVD covers.

According to 38 they continued to use her image even after they knew that she was 14 at the time.

Check the date when her legal team ordered and recieved a copy of the DVD they got from one of the distributors who had allegedly removed it from their inventory in February.

Again, check those dates.

And again....

So aside from boosting the sale of this DVD, we can only hope that this company is charged with child pornography and put out of business.

It was funny, then it was bizarre and now it's just sad

Yes, let's talk Britney Spears just for a moment. I should probably stay away from this subject and just let the fabu Perez Hilton take it but I'm here and I'm talking about it.

Who would have thought six months ago that the general population would be all "Hey, I think Kevin is going to be the best parent?" Especially after his appearance on the wrestling circuit. Not I. It's not that Fed-Ex ever really did anything wrong per say. He just never seemed to do anything. Aside from going forth and being fruitful.

But this year Brit-Brit seems to have replaced Tom Cruise as the winner of the Crazy Is My Bitch award. Okay, I can say post-partum depression combined with divorce stress can contribute to making bizarre decisions like shaving ones head. And if you want to shave your head then by all means go to it since that's a personal choice and it is your hair. But the melt down has just continued and continued and every time we think the train has totally derailed...not. At first it was amusing, the pop princess was out partying and showing off her girly bits by "accident" and just generally being a dumbass (apparently the Paris Hilton Disease is contagious).

Then we realized that if she's off flashing the paparazzi like twenty hours a day where are her kids? And then we got mad. But let's be honest, aren't they better off with a competent nanny?

Well she'll calm down here in a few weeks and go home we thought. Wrong. It's gotten worse. Way, way worse. I'm not talking about the bad weaves, the umbrella incident or the round the clock parties. I mean it's gotten way out of hand, just ask OK magazine or that woman who has a nice dent in her car or well, anyone she's had contact with in the past six months.

So we kept waiting for someone to step in and be all "Hey, Courtney Love called and wants her lifestyle back." And that's when she started firing people right and left. Managers, publicist, agents, body guards, lawyers, assistants, stylist, and her parents. Not that her parents were helping any to begin with but still... Then the Fed-Ex dispute began. And we thought, hey finally a wake-up call. Losing your kids is serious business. But that didn't slow her down either.

Neither did the judge ordering her to get her shit together and stay away from the drugs and alcohol. Neither did two hit and run accidents. Neither did her performance at the MTV Awards (and I have to say she is far from fat, she just made a very BAD costuming choice so shut up about that).

So is she an addict and what to? My hypothesis is this. If you're an alcoholic or a druggie you can stay home and do that. You can drink yourself into a nightly appointment with vomiting or Mr. Nose Candy and there's no one there to photograph it so the judge in your custody case can see it (and let's be honest he has). If you go out and party the same night as the Judge said RANDOM Testing twice weekly, you have a problem.

But what is the problem? My guess? Media addiction. If you have your two kids in the car that you're trying to 'protect' why are you putting your top down (and I mean car top) in the midst of a swarm? Why are you driving with no license? Why are you going out to Starbucks? It's not like she can't afford a driver or a Starbucks flunky. Why go for the notorious underwear swim? Why try and up the tabloid stakes with stunt after stunt? Addiction. Sure probable drug and alcohol abuse are not doing her any good but I think the real problem here is that she needs those flashbulbs, she needs that swarm, she needs that feeling that people still want her.

And I have to say here that when she 'accidentally' drove the wrong way down the one way street with the kids in back it was one of the most heart aching things I've ever seen with the little ones in the back holding hands looking terrified. What's it going to take here? Losing your kids? Terrifying them even as toddlers? Toddlers are smart. They know problems are going on. They know when to be frightened.

Apparently not. A lot of folks think that's rock bottom. It's not. Rock bottom is when you know you have a problem and you can't live with it anymore and ask for help. Rock bottom isn't here yet. And that is a terrifying thought. It's really gut wrenching sad to watch her. No, Kevin probably won't win parent of the year, but at least he's interested in the kids welfare (and yeah I know=money).

And now we have this ridiculous BODYGUARD who was fired and clearly has an axe to grind popping up everywhere. Larry King and the Today show? Be ashamed, really really ashamed of yourselves. Do we really find him credible? A man who is now telling anyone, everyone that the kids were in danger and did NOTHING about it? And then refuses to answer the question why? Obvious not a credible source so he needs to shut up and so does his expensive lawyer/agent. Go away already. And let's not forget Crazy Fan who did the diatribe under a blanket. BTW, did we ever figure out if that was a male or a female?

Any responsible parent at this point would be renting a U-Haul and be putting the pedal to the medal to head for Maine or Oklahoma or Norway that no one cares about them or who they are ( a la Mary Kay Molester whose husband beat a path to Alaska with their kids faster than you could say Restraining Order). But we don't see that either. When do we see someone step in here and truly represent the interest of these poor kids? Where's the child advocate? Where are all these child rights groups? Wouldn't these poor things have been removed from the average home way before this? Is social services on some off site conference in Bolivia?

So is there a rehab for media addiction? I hope so. These kids deserve better than this.

We've been screwed by The Man

Well, okay, we've been screwed by TWOP. I never thought this would happen. I thought it would always be a sacred outlet for astute television watchers, unbiased and free to choose their programming and make fun of it at will. No longer, people! They've sold us out worse than the Bush family. Is nothing sacred? Apparently NOT.

For those of you in the know, TWOP was bought out by the BRAVO channel. Which is part of the NBC crowd along with E, Sci-Fi and USA. I'm sure it owns others but my point deals with these channels directly. Suddenly even the crappiest programs on these channels are getting the royal treatment. I mean who the hell wants to hear a recap of Top Chef or Top Designer? I mean they can't even come up with better names? Then I saw TWOP listed on Top 10 as like number three on their countdown which is generally full of salacious celebrity gossip and other trainwrecks. Number Three? Yeah, I'm sure that was a huge coincidence. And then the absolute unbearable happened. I saw a full blown, voiced over COMMERCIAL for TWOP. A commercial! Why not just take their book to HSN while their at it or do exclusively Bravo shows? Or change the name to Top Website and make it a reality series. Personally I shudder to think they've sunk so low as to throw in with a corporation that has a reality show about a tanning salon. Look, I know reality television is cheap and easy but seriously, a tanning salon? It gives me a headache. So my disappointment is deep and hurtful and I feel used by my once favorite website. I'm removing them from my favorites list. I'm sad. I'm outraged. I've been betrayed for nothing more then money. I feel dirty.

And I'm Back...

BellSouth sucks. No really. Over a month ago my DSL Modem went down in flames, we'd been having trouble with it for some time but it just crashed for one final swan song. We called BS (a fitting abbreviation) to send us a new one. Yes, it was going to be there ASAP. They even sent us the email confirmation. We wait a week. No modem. My husband called them. The first person he spoke with gave us a UPS tracking number. Enter number= No such UPS tracking number exsist, not in that format. Another week goes by. We call again. This person says that that was the original tracking number from our original modem sent THREE YEARS AGO. We point out that UPS keeps their tracking numbers for eternity and it wasn't even an actual tracking number. Next person who takes the call says they have NO RECORD of us ordering anything. Yeah. Another week goes by. And another. FInally said modem does show up on our doorstep. Now really, what the hell? If you screwed up just say, we screwwed up our bad. I mean again, if you're going to lie to me, don't give me one that I can actually PROVE is a lie. I don't mind human error, it happens. I do mind crappy customer sevice. I urge you to find a better provider if one is available to you.

SG-1 Finale, Pirate Redeux

Okay, I was...satisfied with the SG-1 finale. It's the ONE finale that hasn't screwed me over since NYPD Blue ended (the best of the finales thus far). And they left it WIDE open for a nice miniseries later. So I can live with it. And actually I found the scene between Daniel and Valla very sweet. So thumbs up.

Last night Rob and I went to see Pirates. Rob hadn't been so this was new to him. He liked it. And on second viewing, minue the emergency crash seats, it wasn't nearly as bad as I originaly thought, or maybe I was just more prepared. Still, I'd like 1 on DVD but the other two....not as much. Go back and watch the first one, you'll see what I mean. And the more I watched the ending it really is slanted toward a fourth installment.

So Paris is out of jail. I'm good with that too. I think she served enough time that she gets it. I hope. And I saw where Lindsay Lohan has decided to continue to stay in rehab a little longer, a decision I applaud. But you know who I'm disappointed in? DEEPLY disappointed in and have no faith in ever again? Brooke Shields. I know she seems an unlikely target but suddenly she's best friends with all the Cruise Weirdos. I mean I get that you get press that way but seriously attaching yourself to the man who you publicly feuded with and feuded with on behalf of women every where who have PPD? Shame on you. SHAME! What the hell? Next she's going to be all "I was so wrong". No you weren't. And now you're just a big cheap sell out. You suck. Women suffer from PPD. It's a fact. Women who are left untreated can and do awful things. Vitamins won't help that. You know what will? Proper care under a doctor's supervision. And the message you send while hanging out with King Weird and his Consort just says that maybe you're thinking you were wrong. I mean is Tom Cruise not living proof that you will and can go nuts without proper treatment? YES. It makes me sad and Brooke Shields whould be ashamed of herself.

What's with the Beckhams? For Heaven's sake don;t feel you need to envade American soil for better popularity. Really, feel free to stay in Europe and be...European. We really won't miss you. Or your 'reality' show. Or your popping up anywhere there's a camera. I mean seriously, I feel like they'd show up at my child's ballet lesson if they thought someone had a video camera. Please leave and take your soccer balls with you.

I hear Nancy Grace is pregnant with twins. And apparently no one even knew she was married. Or pregnant. Is that weird or what? I'm not opposed to it since you have the right to your privacy absolutely but I just think it was very Un-Nancyish.

And finally, we saw Nancy Drew. Yeah, shut up. It was actually quite cute. And if you're a nancy fan it was just well worth it. I loved those books, read them all. I think they did a decent job of putting it one the screen without killing us with back story and making it non-gore for the little audiene members. I say...I like it. So if you have an eight year old, read her the books and go to the movie. She'll enjoy it.

So yes, this was a waste of space post but I'm procrasitnating laundry so and it's my blog.

A ten year relationship coming to a close

A little Haiku (or maybe not, I could never write the damn things):

We're done.

We're sad.

We think Brian Glassner

and eveyone at Sci-Fi sucks.

Well, let's all be honest. I'm a sci-fi nerd. Always have been, always will be. I've been really hating the 'new direction' sci-fi channel has taken over the last two years but at least it brought me BSG and for that, I can partially forgive them. But wrestling? What the hell? Check your demographics.

Anyway, tonight, it's over. After ten vested years in countless relationships, missions and fretting over the state of the Jack/Samantha relationship, Stargate SG-1 is taking it's swan song. I'm loosing friends here, long and faithful friends. Before I was married do you have any idea how many of these episodes, Cheetos and Diet Cokes got me through the dateless nights. Anyway, it just pains me. Remember the time O'Neil got all of the Ancients technology downloaded in his brain? Or the other time O'Neil got all the Ancients technology loaded into his brain? Or when the gang traveled back in time? Or forward? Or just generally around screwing up things, blowing up things and shooting things? Even the addition of Ben Browder with Claudia Black to off-set him worked for me. I hate you Sci-Fi, hate you (sobbing into a dish towel). I will come for you Grassner, and I will be bringing all of hell with me and the sets will run red with blood....okay, maybe that's a little creepy. I do like Atlantis as much as I like a cheap knock-off. It's like a Prado bag if you know what I mean.

And what about our lovely Sam? Wasn't the idea of the brilliant, tech scientist being a woman a thrill? She took names, she kicked ass and she did it all while fixing the most bizarre technology and shouting 'I just need another minute". She could fix it, fly it, rewire, be the voice of reason and do it all with pretty good hair. But she never seemed Barbie like, never wore inappropriate clothing, never got new boobs, never word too much make-up. She was the every women. If the every woman was a rocket scientist. I loved you Sam. And I know I'll see you on Atlantis next year, but really it's just not the same.

I loved you Jack. I know you bowed out for family reasons but you were good. I know your bought the production company and that was good. You were weird and snarky and for some reason enjoyed lots of fishing. Ben is good, but he's not you. You set the standard for all those tough, snarky, military types to come (Jack Bower, anything Keanu Reeves) . And it is a high standard, my friend. Remember the time they froze you? It wasn't a happy time for us. Remember Moebius part two? The best of times. It's been a long road. And will us Jack/Sam shippers ever be satisfied? Probably not.

Daniel, or as I like to call you, our little nerd delight in glasses. Oh, Daniel what can we say? You left us. Then when you discovered you weren't all that employable elsewhere, you were back. I can forgive that. I've been with you when you were just a science nerd to now when you've become..not so much a science nerd. You got over the whole wife thing and I was glad since, who cared? You were our hero in a do rag who spouted off stuff that confused us. Our super geek. The guy we'd take home to mom, even if mom would have no idea what you were talking about. And what was in all those journals you carried around everywhere? And Valla? She's good for you. Stop fighting it.

Christopher Judge? How many times were you tortured in a gratuitous way to get your shirt off? Thank you for that. You must have been hitting the gym three times a day for your fans and we admire you for it. While the hair has been weird, the 'indeed' was a constant. I'll miss you and your Spock like qualities, if Spock had less pointy ears and had showed up at the Vagina Monologues. It's been fun. It's been exciting. It was terribly cool when you had that the thing that flipped up and made a bird head.

So fav episodes? Mine? Moebius, parts one and two, season eight. Runner up: 200, season 9. All time fav fan episode according to the pool at Sci-fi.com? Window of Opportunity, Season Four. I suspect this was due to this particular scene. Let's face it, we needed it by then. We all need a little reminder of the romantic angle. We could have used more but it wasn't really about that, just seething below the surface with the occasional reminder was okay.

So good-bye, my darlings. Gate off somewhere wonderful. We'll be right here hanging out at http://www.gateworld.com or some fan-fic board waiting for our mini-series when you all find out you don't really have anything else to do. I have to go cry some more now. Hate you Sci-Fi...

And...still unemployed

Well, as it turns out no one in the Atlanta area seems to have any need for an award winning event planner. Maybe my new career will be barrista.

But all this has not been in vain totally. I have begun work on a synopsis for the book I completed targeted at Silhouette. Synopsis are of the devil, people! OF THE DEVIL. Also, I gave up coffee so it's not like that's helping. Oh, actually I just went whole hog vegan so I think my brain might be inpaired by lack of processed sugar, caffeine, white wheat, dairy and soda. Giving up meat, no biggie since, did it. Although the egg thing is annoying. Drinking all my water, fine, been doing it for years. But no coffee? It's the writer's blood. Thank goodness Paul Newman makes a tasty vegan Oreo or I'd probably be huddled in the fetal position in my closet. Although last night we had a very tasty veggie burger with homemade (via my husband) guacamole on it and a vegan bun along with organic mashed postatoes. Incidentally, I used the cute little round ones that are all different colors and they came out PURPLE. Awesome. Also slapped some vegan butter in them and you'd never know the diff. Other than the purple thing, although my three year old was quite intrigued by them. I just squeezed myself a big batch of fresh orange juice out of organic oranges. Although what the heck is with the bread costing $4 a loaf? What are they doing to this bread?

But back to writing. Oh yes, Synopsis=Satan. I write like one sentence and I feel completely drained (or maybe it's the lack of Splenda and cheese).

Unemployment or Guilty Pleasure?

For the first time in many years I find myself unemployed. Or rather underemployed since I do have a small child. The bailbonding company and I are splitsville after five years since it was sold to new owners.

An aside here, my occasionally wise friend DorkyDad often says that people who claim to big the biggest Christians will screw you over everytime. Seriously, anyone who introduces themselves first thing with 'we're Christians and we go to church', has a fish on their car or a fish on their business card? Is just out to win your trust. This has to do with the new owners but that's all I'll say.

Anywhoodles, so now I'm...at home. It's odd and sometimes sad. I find myself rather forgetting I don't have a job. And I'm having trouble adjusting sort of. I keep rushing around in the morning trying to get ready for work and then I realize...I don't have anywhere to go really. I've more or less been plunged into an odd world where people go to the grocery store before ten p.m. and eat dinner with their families and have time to do stuff like wash their curtains and mop. The shrink says take time to grieve and find out what I want to do and send out a few resumes in a couple of weeks. Oh, and I can slam down an extra anxiety med if I need too.

Naturally, a more industrious person would use this time to WRITE. And I will. Once I get the idea that I can just sit down and GO without major interruptions.

Anyway, I'm a bailbondsman no more. So any thoughts on how to fill my time? Subject line: A New Hope.

I'd be bitchy too...

Okay, so we've all heard the big hype about the Skinny Bitch diet book. I saw an interview with the writers the other day and I was like have you gone insane? No wonder there's all the weirdness in Hollywood and people converting to bizarre religions and beating cars with umbrellas! They're too starved to think straight! I'd rather do meth to stay skinny too then this thing!

Incidentally, this pic of Kate Beckinsale with her daughter is mostly irrelevant other than just to point out apparently one can have their body back after childbirth. I haven't the slightest idea if she binge/purges, has a live-in personal trainer and chef or all of the above. That and check out those shoes. I want to be famous so I can afford shoes like that for everyday clomping around too.

BUT.....now that I've done the research it...doesn't sound that bad. No really. And I'm a person who adores ADORES food. So what do you think? Doable? I sort of think it might be except for the expect to stay hungry part. But really, I'm usually hungry anyway so if I can sit down with a big fat plate of whole grain pasta...well okay. I actually don't eat meat (more or less since I love meat but it makes me fairly sick) anymore although giving up fish would probably come close to killing me. And I AM addicted to cheese. Maybe they're on to something there. And I did loose weight when I just ate a banana for breakfast on the way to dropping my daughter off to school. So I might check this out at Borders. Give me your thoughts, subject line BITCH DIET.

The Bitch Diet Book

Pirates 3: It was...well...eh...um...hmmmm

Let's just pretend I've been faithfully blogging for the last five months and go on.

I Fadangoed a ticket to POTC for last night and sent the family off to see John Smoltz win number 200. First, I'd like to say that my review may be colored by the fact that the Austell 22 has put in seats that are made like those on an airplane except no recline feature so I was basically forced to sit for two and a half hours as if strapped in for an emergency landing.

Anyway, how long have I been looking forward to this? Well, since I saw the last installment. And while those who read my review of that know that I felt they may have gotten a bit Kraken happy and perhaps overplayed Jack a bit too much,but overall? Loved it. Could not wait for the next one.

So the release of number three was greeted with me plunking down my $9.75 for a full price ticket which hasn't happened...since Marie Antoinette (but that was WELL worth it). So how was it? I don't know that I have a clear cut answer. It was...strange. Then good. Then weird. Then really good. Then confusing. Then great. Then...not good.

Let's look at what made me love one and two:

1. Adventure
2. Romance
3. Humor
4. Excellent Special Effects
5. Acting
6. Plot line that reflected perfectly but freshened up one of my faavorite Disney rides

Here's what I got in number three:

1. Action
2. Acting
3. Excellent Special Effects with slight overuse of computer animation

Now if you're a man, that probably is a dream combo. If you're a kid that probably more than works for you as well (although there are at least two scenes I've got off the top of my head that scared the ten year old sitting next to me. Beware an opening featuring a mass hanging scene including that of a small child and a scene where a version of Jack whips out his brain and licks it). But if you're a woman or a fan of the original then..you've been played.

I will say that of the three, the cast here feels the most cohesive. This one was filmed back to back with number two and it feels like they're working in the zone and some scenes you can just tell they're having a good time (and may find yourself singing 'rock the boat baby" out loud). Bill Nighy has never given a bad preformance. And Geoffrey Rush has elevated Barbossa so high that his action figure has gone to the top of my Christmas list. Although if anyone was shoulders above the rest it has to be Orlando Bloom who wrestled this movie back from Johnny Depp and made it his bitch. Everyone just kicks the hell out of their character, with the exception of Chow who acts his way through mightly but is wasted all the same with not one spectacular fight. Why cast a huge martial arts star and not let him do his thing? Perhaps it fell to the cutting room floor. If so, shame on you Gore! Shame!

Where we had adventure in the first two, we now have action. Where we had romance we now have...no romance aside from a five minute nod at the end which ends badly in my opinion. Where we had a plot that was vintage Disney we now have....way too much going on. They should have handed out cheatsheets about who was doing what and why. I can't decide if they were attempting to cram it all into one movie or if the possibility of a fourth installment was so viable that they had to lay groundwork for it as well. It felt like they were running as fast as they could trying to tie up loose ends while unknotting those that they'd already tied. For instance, the rather gratuitous way they treat the death of the Kraken. It's like they had a checklist; Explain where Kraken is, done.

While most of the effects are stunning and strike a note between awe inspiring and gigglicious in a Disney way, computer animation rears its ugly head in a few of the last battle scenes and makes it feel cartoonish. And there are scenes where Gore got all "Being John Malkovich" and started making me think there was soemthing weird in my $6 fountain Diet Coke. That's the thing about CGI in the modern age, just because you CAN doen't mean you SHOULD. There are stunning visuals aplenty and the few that annoyed me were forgiven when one weighs them against the shots of the starry night sky and sea melting into one another and the Shipwreck Cove views. Indeed, I see Disney dismanteling Tom Sawyers Island for a Shipwreck Cove attraction any minute. A move I endorse and shall anticipate.

In fact, my complaint seems to be with the writers. First, we lost the beauty of what makes a pirate movie. Someone needs to review their Errol Flynn collection (and I have my eye on you Gore). Where are our grand dueling scenes? Blowing things up is not swashbuckling. It's Die Hard with a Cutlass. They're aren't any of those amazing sequences like in the previous movie (the water wheel or the escape from the cannibals for example) that made it feel piratey. And there are explosions a plenty. So many that I felt like searching the credits for a Renny Harlan as technical advisor nod. But no matter how big and bad the blow-up, it's no substitute for clanging swords.

And the end. Again, with Johnny Depp teasing the masses with his not a denial about making a fourth movie and the estimated one billion dollar box office expected, plus the merchandise tie-ins, let's face it, they'd all be idiots to stop here. I know actors don't want to play the same character a milllion times but I doubt if any of these people will ever see a potential deal with so many zeros attached again in their lifetime. I'd be willing to strap on an eyepatch every day for the rest of my life for $35 million dollars and three percent of merchandise, the sort of deal that might easily net you around sixty million dollars for one film even if the thing falls flat on it's face. You won't make that bank with anyone else ever. That's the money that gives you the freedom to start that independant production company and make gritty docudramas about political injustice and win your Oscar. So anyone who isn't willing to get their sea legs back for another six months is a fool.

But still that's no justification for not giving us the payoff. And by us I mean the women. Let's be honest, this mega trilogy was female driven. We fell in love with Jack Sparrow, we longed to be Elizabeth, we took the kids to see it four times, we agreed to buy the costumes, DVDs, Nintendo games and action figures at Target. We gave the pirate birthday parties, bought the beachtowels, attached the POTC boo-boo strips and listened to the soundtracks during carpool. And yet, we're the ones who were slighted in the end with a romance that..didn't. Or did but then didn't. Or didn't then sort of did then did then really just crapped out. At any rate: You owed us and you cheated us. And that is unforgivable.

So if there isn't a Pirates of The Caribbean: The Fountain Of Youth being penned as I type then I'm coming for you Bruckheimer and I'm bringing all of hell (and by that I mean a gaggle of pissed women with PMS and no Pamprin) with me and not even CSI will be able to find all the body parts. Last review I ended with "see you at World's End". This time I'm ending with BETTER see you off the shoreline of Cuba in about two years.

The Quest to Find My Inner Martha

I am not organized.

I am admitting this in print to my deep and abiding shame. The part that makes this far worse is that with my OCD and Anxiety issues, clutter makes me crazy (er). So in 2007 I have resolved not to be organized but to be WAY over organized to be so organized that Martha Stewart will call and be like 'hey, power down on the organizing, sister'. I want to be the mom who knows where the emergency numbers are, who remembers to flip the mattress and can lay her hands on any book in her library STAT. I am not this person currently. I'm not sure I even know this person so that I may bask in their glow.

So, the first thing I did was head down to Borders after the new year to take advantage of the half price calender deals. We bought a big old calender for the fridge (which will most likely NOT be updated) and then I bought something put out by Dayrunner called the Busy Mom's Planner. Well, okay I'm a mom and I'm busy. Although a good portion of said busy is locating stuff that a more organzied person wouldn't lose. Like a cat. I was thrilled with it's blank pages that begged for me to write down everything from my car and house insurance info to my childs fingerprints. And so I have. I spent three days filling in each blank that I could. I annoyed my husband for things like the name and number of our insurance agent, his complete medical history and whether I should put the addresses of people I detest in said book. One Mom planner ready to go! So far I have taken it everywhere. I take it to dinner, I take it to work, I take it to church. I spend more time with it then my computer and THAT is saying something. So I am now the mom with the 411 on any possible thing anyone would ever need to know concerning myself or my family. I also shoved a Shout Wipe, a stamp and a thing of dental floss in the pocket. Hey, organized people have time to floss, remove stains and mail letters.

Next I have embarked on the Saturday straighten plus one larger project a week plan. Saturday includes about an hour of cleaning which may involve:Laundry (all of it and I'm very OCD about how it gets done), wiping all vertical surfaces with appropriate cleaner, spritzing shower with Tilex, reshelving books, helping my daughter pick up her toys (all little people go in two boxes. Despite my husbands plan of organizing them by Old and New Testament they just go in two boxes and they can argue religious philosophy amongst themselves). Also, we change sheets and I use a Mr. Clean eraser to touch up any weird floor marks (okay, why do all shoes now have black treads? Why?) and try and get any errant crayon masterpieces off walls. We get the various tools for vaccuming out and do battle with the attachemnts. Also, pottys are scrubbed and sinks are de-toothpaste clumped.
This light cleaning does not involve mopping, scrubbing down the shower pan, washing any shower curtain liners, defrosting anything, canning, sewing, darning, reupholstering, picture hanging, sorting boxes or drawers or any other 'project' that might derail me. This also includes the disposition of the fifteen boxes of bamboo flooring in the garage which would be better served by being installed. Fortuantely Dorky Dad was over this weekend measuring and says that said boxes will be vacating my garage soon and that I will have a shiny new bathroom floor posthaste.
So, first major project was my laundry room. Frankly, the laundry room (closet) was so gross that I find it hard to believe anything clean ever emerged from there and possibly was grosser then when it entered. Some times I indeed washed things twice since anything sitting on top of the dryer for more than two minutes was regarded as a cat bed and whichever got there first reserved the right to role around upon the garment until it looked like an angora sweater (and there is nothing grosser than using a towel covered in cat hair to dry off with when you realize that it was covered in cathair and you are now wearing it making you look like you forgot to NAIR for eight months). So I took everything out of the laundry room and discovered it was gross with or without stuff. I scrubbed down the washer and dryer and to my delight found that they were not grey but white. I wrestled a step ladder in and dustbustered, windexed and wiped the shelf down. I then looked at the small amount of linoleum sticking out around said appliances and had to shut the doors. When I opened them again it was still nasty so I found a cleaning product that advised I use gloves to handle it. I used no gloves and sprayed it with abandon all over the linoleum. I figure the worse that could happen was that it would eat through the linoleum which meant the scum would also be gone. Turns out linoleum has pattern other than grey sticky stuff. Thus satisfied I tossed out old bottle with less than two drops of cleaner in them and relabeled (with my label maker) empty spray bottles ( I use bleach, Murphy's, Oxy and Vinegar to clean with usually so I use mostly just plastic spray bottles). I got a basket and folded all cleaning cloths into it so I knew where they were. I clipped the lingerie bag (which I found in the crap on top of the shelf) where it is directly over the washer and then as a final act, I put in hooks where I attached a pair of scissors and a lint roller. Just last night I needed a pair of scissors to cut a label off before tossing it in the washer and to my amazement there WERE scissors where and when I needed them.

This weekend I cleaned out my office (closet). We have multipurpose closets all over. I forced my husband to make use of one of those cable holder together things and to my delight, my office is clean. No really, CLEAN. I can find thing that I need without danger of being garrauted by the DSL cords. I even uncovered a few CDs (Greenday), two travel books (Seattle and the Caribbean)and a scad of magazines (Better Homes, RWA, Living). Also, more little people. I believe the more conservative little people are fixing to break off with the larger group and start boycotting Disney at this point.

And now the car. Yesterday I bought something I had seen in Real Simple magazine (I neither normally read magazines nor buy things in them). It's the mobile desk. It velcros to your front seat and has a place for a lap top, files, phones, water bottles, tissue boxes, pens, CDs and whatever else. I am now the mom who can whip out sunblock from her car on a moments notice. I also bought one of those nifty trashcans that velcros to the floor of the car. I am more than anxious to start using it too. Thank God for carpool and the abject embarressment of having strangers poking their heads in your car twice a day. It really shapes you up fast.

So 2007, the Year of Annoying Organization. Let it begin...

Okay, handy links for those with these same problems (not that YOU do but maybe someone you know):

The FLY Lady I bought the book a couple of years ago and damned if it doesn't work if you do it like bootcamp. For all those suffering from C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) this is the place for you. I felt as though she had visited my home, took notes and then wrote a manual for me. She has lists for everything, tells you how to complete them and the book makes you feel much better about your slovenly ways and offers light at the end of the cluttered tunnel. Basically her mantra is this: Your house didn't get this out of control in a day and it's going to take more than a day to fix it. In fact, she says that very few people 'know' how to clean. As children we were told to clean our rooms but we recieved no real intruction as to what that meant beyond making the bed and tossing clothes in a hamper. Essentially, reprogram yourself.
The Mobile Desk Awesomeness on wheels and totally necessary if you tend to accumulate junk in your car. You still have junk but now it has a home.
The busy MOM planner Be THAT mom who knows the number for everything and can tell you on what day Thanksgiving 2009 falls.

And 2007...Go!

Okay, so happy 2007.
Personally I'm shocked and a bit disgusted it's 2007. Remember when you were like hey, 2007 is SOOOOOO far off. I'll be OLD then. Yeah, okay, we're there. Remember all the hoodoo over Y2K? Ha! That was fun, wasn't it? X-Files got a good long plot line run out of that.
One of the best things we ever watched on television EVER was this special on what past generations had viewed what 2000 would look like (my grammer may suck there but it was just weird no matter what). They showed all these terrific film clips from the 1950's and 60's. It was like the self driving car so you and your passengers could sit back, relax, drink martinis and smoke five packs of cigs en route. Or the personal aircraft and we would all refer to each other by number (Hi there, XDHFJ24554! What sort of mileage do you get out of your nuclear fuel cell? Everything was frikkin' nuclear fueled). And the best one was where "mother" could do everything from home. Yes, it was 'Mothers" dream life. She could cook, clean, keep kids and wear her pearls, stockings and heels around so much easier with the kitchen-o-matic or whatever it was called. In a way it was sort of revolutionary since they had a vague (VAGUE) concept of the internet. Like mom would be able to dial up the butcher on her little interactive tv screen and tell him what she needed. The hilarious part was that the receipt was written on paper by hand and it was like the television view of it. So they were a bit behind on the word processing aspect of the internet. Anyway, if you know the special I'm talking about and know where I can get a copy, drop me a line.

So, the blog is messy. I think my housekeeping skills have moved from garage to house to blog. Sad. Anyway, the good news is that DorkyDad knows how to re-skin the blog for me. I gave it my all but HTML code is not Novelchicks thing. It's just...not. AND he's going to install the new bamboo floors in the master bath (he's a multi-tasker that DorkyDad). The bamboo flooring and accessories have been hanging in the garage for nine months so I'm fairly excited about this plus this will create space in my garage for a car. Maybe. Anywho, I know the blog is not shipshape at the moment but it will get there. Promise. And look for this weeks Zombie pages!