The Nadir

It dawned on me this weekend that my purse ways 200 pounds, thus perhaps explaining some of my shoulder pain.

So it's time for the CLEAN OUT. And I thought you all might be interested in what Suburban Mom carries around.

First, a bit about the actual bag. After giving birth to my daughter in March, I had to shop for a dress to wear to a funeral in October. Yes, some mom's bounce back immediately and one week after giving birth way what they weighed pre-kid. Not me. So there I stodd in the ghastly lit, three way mirrored dresing room at Talbots. Normally, I avoid Talbots since...well, not me. But for a death dress it seemed okay. Here's what I saw. A woman with a baby belly and a c-section scar, no makeup, grown out hair, wearing maternity jeans, a terrible top with baby spit up on one corner. Taking off the clothes I proved to be wearing white athletic socks, granny panties and a saggy nursing bra. One boob was bigger than the other (thus the sag) and I hadn't apparently Naired in a week and my eyebrows? I can't talk about it. In all, probably the worst visual of my life. Aided by a cheap, black plastic disaper bag hanging off the handle of the Zooper, where my child was asleep.
YIKES!!!! Not helped by the fact that I was constantly surrounded by thin, non-rootty, well shaven women

Fast Forward-day after Thanksgiving. Armed with coupons and no baby, I set out to Macy's for the early bird saving sale. Which, totally NOT worth getting up for. Anywho, I was in handbags looking for something for my friend Cary, who had a tendancy to haul six different bags around to accomodate her stuff. I bought her a swell black hobo bag that went with anything and could hold a mountain of stuff wihtout actually looking overstuffed. Then I saw it. A black leather Tommy Hilfiger. Simple, and yet elegant. It's got a harder side constructiona dn it's square. Checking the inside I found a blue, nylon (wipe outable) interior that was amazingly roomy with no divider pockets. I think technically it was some sort of stylish on the go bag for corporate types who stuff files in their bags. So the bag was bought and I used it very successfully as a baby bag for ages. Then baby out grew bag and it just became an excellent large handbag.

So let's see what's accumulated since last clean out which was app. one month ago.

1) Emory University School of Medicine Consent form (8 pages) from my last trip to doctor where they wanted me to ask my husband for a spit sample to use in a DNA study with mine and the baby's.
2)Envelope marked Clothes. This is my husband's answer to reigning in the spending. I get an envelope a week for clothes for myself and the girl. Contents: $40.
3) Newsletter for Salon Elon, where I get my hair done. Yes, my salon has an actual newsletter.
4) Thermacare Heatwrap for Back and Hip
5)My husband's cell phone
6) Key ring with 10 keys, three of which go to houses we no longer own. Also, seven of those keychain store card things on it.
7)One small bottle generic ibuprofin, still in box
8)My husbands eye glass case (hardside)
9)white linen handkerchief in preperation for seeing Marie Antoinette (not needed)
10)Ticket stub for MaArie Antoinette
11)Reciept for Salon Elon for last color
12)Envelope marked household and fun (contents $20)
13)Tin of altoids
14)Check book with credit cards and pictures
15)That big pink reciept thingy from doctor's visit to Emory
16) Two pieces of white printer paper, one with a potential Disneyworld itenerary scribbled on it, the other one is blank
17)Target receipt from 10/24/06
18)Chico's receipt from 11/4/06
19)Perscription from Shrink
20) Target receipt dated 10/27/06
21)Expired coupon for The Children's Place
22)A pumpkin. No really. It's an actual mini-pumpkin.
23) Ann Taylor sunglasses
24)Publix receipt 10/22/06
25) generic Migrain Relief
26)Bottle Visine A.C. unopened and in box
27) Hair brush belonging to my daughter
28)Maybelline Superstay Lipstick, shade 705 which is not really my color
29)One makeup holder containing one Oral-B Brushup but no actual make-up
30)Email address for our waitress on our cruise
31)Two recordable CD's with nothing on them
32)Straw from Wendy's
33) One container of Body Shop coconut lip butter
34) 5 pens
35) 2 1/2 in gate hook and eye, in package
36) Coffee stirrer from Starbucks
37)Yogi Tea bag wrapper (Sweet Thai Delight), no actual tea bag
38) Inspirational quote ripped off bottom of Celestial Sesonings tea box
39) $25.00 Chico's coupon (used)
40)Aveda Salon reciept 9/19/06
41) 2 open packages Splenda
42) Tiffany make-up mirror with name engraved on it
43)$50 GA Natural Gas gift card that has never worked
44)5 crayons
45)Receipt Walgreens, 10/31/06
46) Two hair bands
47) one unopened disposable contact lens
48) jumpdrive
49)Turqoise ring
50)Elon business cards
51)Great Lash Mascara
52) 2 more crayons
53)Tylenol Severe Allergy Capsule
54) Two RWA convention pins
55) $50 mostly in ones
56) one greek coin earring (the other fell down under my car seat)
57) $9.27 in change
58) goldfish crumbs

I think I'm going to loose the Splenda packages.