Take THAT, 'Publics

I received this little nugget of Republican bashing goodiness from the most unlikely of places today....my MOTHER. Yes, she has decided that McCain is too damn old to be President of anything but some antique car club. So enjoy this. Spread it around. Print it out and slap it on the fridge for all your Republican friends to see. Magnify it and make it into a really big bumper sticker.

FYI: It is not noted here but worth knowing that in the twon that Palin was Mayor of that rape victims were charged for their own rape kits and exams. We finally get a woman in a significant place and she's a freakin' nutjob. Why does this happen?


I'm a little confused.

Let me see if I have this straight...

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different." Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable. Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 3.5 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience. If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive, a heartbeat away from the top job.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the need for kids to alert someone if they experience inappropriate touching, you are eroding the fiber of society. If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's. If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

Reflections on the Republican Convention: all the ding dang fabulousness

See I thought there would be nothing to watch last week. With the Olympics over and the Dem convention history I figured it was nothing but stories about absurdly large pumpkins from here until November but I was so very wrong. I got to watch my fair share of the Rep Convention on CNN. Not because I have any real interest but because my daughter was having trouble sleeping but I have found Wolf Blitzer puts her out like a light in minutes. Sorry about that Wolf. Anywho, I followed that up with Daily Show and Colbert which was a scream but candid more than CNN would be on its best day.

First let me tell you about the hootilicious sound bites they found. McCain saying he felt Roe V. Wade was a solid piece of legislation. A few years later he condemned it. Next he proclaimed that our presence in Iraq would be short lived, a few MONTHS later he said that those there in the beginning knew it would be extended. And my favorite? He would not support the Bush tax cut incentives but now? He wants to make them permanent. Hee! Fun stuff. I love it when a man with eight (maybe) houses tries to tell the middle class what they want.

Then how about Rudy. The three time winner of the wedding lottery, pro-choice, had his mistress right out in the open including living in the mayors mansion before he was divorced and told his wife they were getting a separation via press conference? Community organizer was the best he could come up with? What was he doing between the ages of 24 and 27? And does he get some sort of royalty check every time he mentions 9/11? And no, I'm not making light of 9/11 by any means so don't get your panties in a wad. But that was his big spur in the side, Obama didn't mention it in his speech specifically.

And let's talk Cindy for just a minute. She has managed in one of her shiny Chanel suits to deliver to me the funniest sound bite of the entire convention. Hey, let's not stop there, BOTH conventions. Regarding Palins complete lack of any military experience, her response? That we were forgetting that Alaska is the closest state to Russia. No, really. Even for her that's pretty sad. But funny people. All I have to do is think of it and I chuckle even in bad traffic. I forget the many, many times Siberia has threatened to invade Alaska. Hoooo. Did I need the laugh. and what is with those shiny suits? She looks like a road flare.

And now let's talk Palin. She's insane. Policy experience aside. I know that Obama told his camp that her personal life was off limits but I'm allowed to bring it up every five minutes like an egg timer. If you can't be Commander In Chief of your high schooler how can you be potential C.I.C. of the most powerful nation on Earth? Next, what's her plan here? She's going to leave knocked up daughter in Wasilla while she's in Washington, forced to marry some other 17 year old and having a baby? Or is she taking her with her? And either way what sort of mother puts her preggie 17 year old through the international wringer. Talk about throwing someone under the bus. Oh. and the new tidbits that have surfaced. The bridge to no where which she ended up withdrawing her request for but didn't give the money back. The book banning where she didn't actually ban anything but wanted censorship over everything in the library, then firing the librarian as a 'test of loyalty'. And now me fav, her minister is claiming that the attacks of Israel or punishment for the Jews. I can't wait to see how much crazier she gets in the next few weeks. I bet there is militia involved. Oh, and speculation is that she had an affair with one gentleman who for some reason had his divorce documents sealed the day after she announced her VPness. I'm loving it. I'm scared but I'm entertained.

And John McCain? People he's old.