Friday, November 17, 2006

T-Minus 5 Days



Yep, 5 days.

The excellent news is that I ran through 87 pages yesterday of corrections , moving scenes around and writing some new ones. If I can keep this up I may in fact be ready. My good friend C.J.(www.C.J.Lyons.net)
told me that if my first 35 pages are spiffy along with a good synopsis (and that is not likely to happen) then that's what I need to concentrate on since they usually know at that point if they have a winner. O-Kay! Here we go again!

PS Fabulous Cartoon Owned and Copyrighted Entirely by http://www.thewriteratwork.com/. Please visit their site for more of them.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Countdown


We're 6 days until I need to send off my GH entry. Ack. The deadline is actually December 4 to get your stuff in but since we're off to Disney Thanksgiving day I guess if it's going, it's going then.

So T-Minus Day 6 it is.

This cartoon is owned by www.cartoonweb.com, visit them!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

ALERT ALERT ALERT

Sorry, I meant to do this last week but...well, whatever.

TOMORROW IS THE ENTRY DEADLINE FOR THE GOLDEN HEART/RITA CONTEST.

If you belong to RWA you know what I speak of. This years deadline has been moved up significantly in terms of submitting your material and it is due DECEMBER 4! GET THOSE COMPUTERS HUMMING!!

Here's the rules:

https://www.rwanational.org/eweb/DynamicPage.aspx?Site=RWA&WebKey=357f2a57-5f2e-4bac-b000-b163b3aac033

You can now enter via email so it's not too late.

Britney, K-Fed and the SEX TAPE

I haven't weighed in on any of this yet since I don't really care. I personally find the whole Anna Nicole thing much more intriguing. I mean we have mystery and drama there, here we just have the inevitable outcome. But also, should we be happy about a marriage breaking up? In an age where (the grossly misleading statistic) of one out of two marriages failing, should we be cheering on the demise of one? Listen, we knew it couldn't last but we've all done stupid things in our youth in the name of love. Plus, there are two young children involved here. On the other hand, when you make a reality show (regardless of how horrible) out of your courtship, you can't go back and say "we want to be left alone". You go on as you start.

Having said that. The alleged sex tape. Okay, folks, let's think about this.

1) These people taped themselves during their entire "I can't even think of what to put here to describe it". So what are the odds they didn't tape themselves having sex? Incidentally, if you did not watch the Britney and Kevin show, behold the carnage Here in snappy recaps from TWOP. Well worth a read if you think YOU'RE having a bad day. Stee had to struggle through every episode which I can only assume forced him to double his consumption of alcohol and nicotine.

2) Is there any part of Britney's body left to the imagination at this point? She was naked on a magazine. She wears skin tight, too short clothes. Her boobs pop out randomly. I think we've been there, done that enough to know. It's about as big a mystery as what Mirah Carey looks like naked.

3)Thus I can assume anyone actually interested in this tape? Only wants to see K-FedEx having sex. And in that case, you are ban from this blog. I suppose he plans on including a copy with each of his CDs that sale and maybe that will boost the sales to..7000 copies?

Ick, people, ICK!

Hey ya'll, cheaper gas!

If you have a Wal-Mart near you (and you know how I dislike this retailer), and it has a gast station part? If you buy yourself a Wal-Mart gift card and use it at the pump you save $.03 a gallon. Just saying....

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Gilmore Gack

Open Letter to David S. Rosenthal, Executive Producer Gilmore Girls

Dear Mr. Rosenthal,

First, let me send out my condolences on the huge mess that you were left when the Palladinos decamped. It's estimated that last season over 1.3 million viewers lost interest in the GGs and went on to other things that held more interest, like alphabetizing thier spice rack. They wrote every character into a corner so dark, it would take a supernova like force of writers, producers, directors and actors to get this show on the road again and win back your fans.

Sadly, I don't think you're the man for the job.

First, do you guys have a big board that you write what happens from show to show on? Or an intern who can do this job? Your continuity has been bad. It was bad before, it's always been bad but we're to the point of nonsensical now. I mean really. How much time does it take to jot down "Chris' parents despise the Gilmores and said awful things about Rory and were ban from the Gilmore Manse and Chris' mom can't possibly be happy about this turn of events". That took two seconds. Or how does this grab you "Luke went to take care of the Renaissance Fair Booth for TJ and his sister and left the diner way longer than two weeks but you keep bringing up that he's leaving for TWO WHOLE WEEKS on this stupid April Tour"? Does that sound familiar in some way? Intern, check on that. If you can't remember what happened the last six seasons then you could buy them (they have been released you know and I saw last seasons in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart which it so richly deserved to be), Netflix the DVDs or just run over to TWOP and read the recaps. Also, check in with the nitpicker board they will be happy to tell you about continuity.

Secondly, Christopher and Lorelei? Oh, Honey, No. Just no. Let's talk about Chris a moment. And if you've got that intern with the dry erase marker handy, you may want to have him take notes. The first time we met Chris he zoomed into Stars Hollow on a motorcycle, spent the night on the couch, tried to buy Rory a dictionary but his credit card was declined since he had no money due to UNEMPLOYMENT which was apparently (per the show) a constant state. He then sporadically reappears from here there and everywhere as a plot device that smells to high heaven. Is there a folder that you found in Amy's desk that said "If run out of ideas, here's stuff to stick in". Actually, that folder HAS to be empty by now. Anyway, he gets ANOTHER woman pregnant (Are you emmulating some sort of Brtney/K-Fed story line because that has NOT WORKED OUT WELL), cheats on her with Lorelei, runs off to marry her, gets a job, gets left, is a shitty father to Gigi, wanders in and out of his older daughter's life like he has ADD and eventually ends up at Richard and Emily's renewal party drunk and making a scene. Then he suddenly inherits a ton of money (whatever) and he's dad of the year and somehow irresistable to Lorelei. This all conviently happens when she is finally, FINALLY happy with Luke as we, the viewing public who you have ignored, are as well. And now? All is forgiven, everyone is thrilled, the past is...ignored? Forgotten? Getting in the way of your lazy writing?

And the Luke thing? Oh Dear God! Was there a napkin from Wolfgang Pucks that had "overheard writer's from General Hospital talking about illegitimate baby plot device to break up happy couple. Sounds good!" in Amy's handwriting. Did it look as though she had been drinking a few lunch martinis when she wrote it? Because that can be the only explanation for not only taking a beloved character and turning him into something that resembles the boss on The Simpsons in manner and a homeless vet in dress. Luke has nice clothes, Lorelei BOUGHT them for him and in the wonderful season finale two years ago, he was wearing them. Yes, we get that the Nirvana look is his trademark but this isn't a Scooby Doo cartoon and everyone is entitled to a change of clothes.

Now, let's talk April. I hate to. But this needs to be addressed ASAP. And I'm bringing down the hammer. Why? Was there need for this? And why was it written so poorly? Or at all? Is she your illegit daughter or something? And are we to believe that Luke has taken the word of a girl doing a science project that he is her father? But Anna confirmed you cry! Well, since he was one of THREE POSSIBILITIES that seems like less than reliable info. I personally hope that CHRIS turns out to be the father since that matches everyone's track record and would be...funny. The whole thing was not worthy of this program and insulting to us, the viewers (or all six of them left). But he needed time to adjust to this news, you say. What did he do with that time? Did he build her a room in the newly designed Better Gilmore Home and Gardens? Did he plan a spring break trip with his "daughter" and his family to be? Did her intriduce his family? DId he set ground rules with Anna about his new family? Did he do anything but lie and sneak around? No. And how did he introduce Rory at the book store opening? I don't want to talk about it. But I figured out right then that things were not going to work well. Just know that I hate it! Hate it! HATE IT! We've all read the scuttlebutt that Lauren Graham and Scott Patterson do not like each other. And that's fine. But being ACTORS it looks like they could summon up more chemistry than one gets from watching mulch interact with water. I don't know what happen to spark this feud but get it taken care of. A long weekend locked in a suite at the Venetian with copious bottles of champagne may do it, and hey, what happens in Vegas...may give you a better show.

And Lane? If she's freaked out about being pregnant shouldn't she consult the one person she knew who faced pregnancy at a very young age and did a great job with? Hey, intern, get the red marker out. That person would be Lorelei Gilmore!

Lorelei used to be strong, independant, funny, self-reliant. Now she's...a doormat. Actually she's not even a good doormat. She's the doormat you toss at the backdoor after it got all faded and yucky up front. You've turned her into Katie Holmes. Nice going. Maybe Chris could jump on a couch and start dispensing medical advice.

And now we heard the spoiler that L and C are getting married. Screw you. Why? Who are these people who want this? The six viewers left? Did someone write you and ask for this? Was it your mothers dieing wish? I know this was supposed to be the last season and then you were all like NO, we've got miles ahead of us but...I think not. The only way I'm seeing you pacify and lure us back to you is if after the holiday break you flip us two years into the future a la BSG and Lorelei and Chris have been divorced, she's a new woman (or the original one we loved), Luke has hit up a sale at Nordstroms and gone back to reading the self help relationship guides and you can cement her and Luke together in a functional relationship. And by that I mean, without more run out of idea plot devices that are thinner than Kate Bosworth. Or alternatively, I guess Luke could step out of the shower and the whole thing could have been a dream on her part. Hey, as long as you're not coming up with original ideas...I'm just saying.

Rory and Logan? Meh. It's okay with me. Really. He's probably the most sustainable relationship she's had so I'm good with it although this London thing was silly and I'm glad you're over it. It's filler at this point. And at least it's SOME romance.

So let me give you some tips:
Dump Chris or kill him or whatever needs to be done
More Sookie, Michele, Mama Kim and Gil (please more Gil)
Less Stupid Lorelei
More Handsome, Charming if slightly surly Luke without that too small army jacket
April finds out she's not his daughter when they go to an actual DNA testing lab
Anna finds out about birth control
Chris finds out about birth control and begins a rap career that eventually ends in death when an enraged fans pelt him with beer bottles
Lane and Zack get their crap together for this baby
Rory and Logan...do whatever
The senior Gilmores...remember that Chris is a dumbass and they hate his mother and he was the worst father ever for like eighteen years and they are gaining yet another grandchild.
The chuppah! Remember it? We did. And we could not figure out for the life of us why she would want to get married in a CHURCH.
Attend a baby christening before you write another one since? Bad. Clearly the Palladino's were Scientologist
Did I mention more Gil and Mama Kim?

So, I give you one more chance. Here's the deal, I won't watch anything until after the break and you get your intern to fact checking so you can fix some things and we'll meet back on Tuesdays. And I'll even bring a friend.

Apparently the only person who will tell you the truth,
Novelchick

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Hey you! Vote!

We at Novelchick would never tell anyone how to vote. We believe firmly in voting your issues and your candidates regardless of whether we think they're asses that will lay waste to Democracy or not. We also believe in the right to NOT reveal to anyone your votes. We do, on the other hand, encourage you to vote since this (not particularly well run and overly complicated) process is how we, The People, make our voices heard. Even if no one is really listening at this point. See, we can actually work on changing that!

So VOTE.

You can't bitch if you didn't participate.

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Nadir

It dawned on me this weekend that my purse ways 200 pounds, thus perhaps explaining some of my shoulder pain.

So it's time for the CLEAN OUT. And I thought you all might be interested in what Suburban Mom carries around.

First, a bit about the actual bag. After giving birth to my daughter in March, I had to shop for a dress to wear to a funeral in October. Yes, some mom's bounce back immediately and one week after giving birth way what they weighed pre-kid. Not me. So there I stodd in the ghastly lit, three way mirrored dresing room at Talbots. Normally, I avoid Talbots since...well, not me. But for a death dress it seemed okay. Here's what I saw. A woman with a baby belly and a c-section scar, no makeup, grown out hair, wearing maternity jeans, a terrible top with baby spit up on one corner. Taking off the clothes I proved to be wearing white athletic socks, granny panties and a saggy nursing bra. One boob was bigger than the other (thus the sag) and I hadn't apparently Naired in a week and my eyebrows? I can't talk about it. In all, probably the worst visual of my life. Aided by a cheap, black plastic disaper bag hanging off the handle of the Zooper, where my child was asleep.
YIKES!!!! Not helped by the fact that I was constantly surrounded by thin, non-rootty, well shaven women

Fast Forward-day after Thanksgiving. Armed with coupons and no baby, I set out to Macy's for the early bird saving sale. Which, totally NOT worth getting up for. Anywho, I was in handbags looking for something for my friend Cary, who had a tendancy to haul six different bags around to accomodate her stuff. I bought her a swell black hobo bag that went with anything and could hold a mountain of stuff wihtout actually looking overstuffed. Then I saw it. A black leather Tommy Hilfiger. Simple, and yet elegant. It's got a harder side constructiona dn it's square. Checking the inside I found a blue, nylon (wipe outable) interior that was amazingly roomy with no divider pockets. I think technically it was some sort of stylish on the go bag for corporate types who stuff files in their bags. So the bag was bought and I used it very successfully as a baby bag for ages. Then baby out grew bag and it just became an excellent large handbag.

So let's see what's accumulated since last clean out which was app. one month ago.

1) Emory University School of Medicine Consent form (8 pages) from my last trip to doctor where they wanted me to ask my husband for a spit sample to use in a DNA study with mine and the baby's.
2)Envelope marked Clothes. This is my husband's answer to reigning in the spending. I get an envelope a week for clothes for myself and the girl. Contents: $40.
3) Newsletter for Salon Elon, where I get my hair done. Yes, my salon has an actual newsletter.
4) Thermacare Heatwrap for Back and Hip
5)My husband's cell phone
6) Key ring with 10 keys, three of which go to houses we no longer own. Also, seven of those keychain store card things on it.
7)One small bottle generic ibuprofin, still in box
8)My husbands eye glass case (hardside)
9)white linen handkerchief in preperation for seeing Marie Antoinette (not needed)
10)Ticket stub for MaArie Antoinette
11)Reciept for Salon Elon for last color
12)Envelope marked household and fun (contents $20)
13)Tin of altoids
14)Check book with credit cards and pictures
15)That big pink reciept thingy from doctor's visit to Emory
16) Two pieces of white printer paper, one with a potential Disneyworld itenerary scribbled on it, the other one is blank
17)Target receipt from 10/24/06
18)Chico's receipt from 11/4/06
19)Perscription from Shrink
20) Target receipt dated 10/27/06
21)Expired coupon for The Children's Place
22)A pumpkin. No really. It's an actual mini-pumpkin.
23) Ann Taylor sunglasses
24)Publix receipt 10/22/06
25) generic Migrain Relief
26)Bottle Visine A.C. unopened and in box
27) Hair brush belonging to my daughter
28)Maybelline Superstay Lipstick, shade 705 which is not really my color
29)One makeup holder containing one Oral-B Brushup but no actual make-up
30)Email address for our waitress on our cruise
31)Two recordable CD's with nothing on them
32)Straw from Wendy's
33) One container of Body Shop coconut lip butter
34) 5 pens
35) 2 1/2 in gate hook and eye, in package
36) Coffee stirrer from Starbucks
37)Yogi Tea bag wrapper (Sweet Thai Delight), no actual tea bag
38) Inspirational quote ripped off bottom of Celestial Sesonings tea box
39) $25.00 Chico's coupon (used)
40)Aveda Salon reciept 9/19/06
41) 2 open packages Splenda
42) Tiffany make-up mirror with name engraved on it
43)$50 GA Natural Gas gift card that has never worked
44)5 crayons
45)Receipt Walgreens, 10/31/06
46) Two hair bands
47) one unopened disposable contact lens
48) jumpdrive
49)Turqoise ring
50)Elon business cards
51)Great Lash Mascara
52) 2 more crayons
53)Tylenol Severe Allergy Capsule
54) Two RWA convention pins
55) $50 mostly in ones
56) one greek coin earring (the other fell down under my car seat)
57) $9.27 in change
58) goldfish crumbs

I think I'm going to loose the Splenda packages.